Trump’s commencement bowel drive inwards White House twice the size of Obama’s, Press Secretary reports

Washington D.C. (dpo) - We knew Donald Trump wanted to larn big, afterwards all, ‘making America keen again’ is no small-scale task. Now, it seems he has delivered. The novel White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced today to the gathered reporters of Washington, D.C., that the novel President’s get-go official bowel crusade was twice the size of Obama’s inwards 2009.

Although White House claims on the size of the crowd at Mr. Trump’s inauguration are disputed, inwards this case, the facts seem to travel clear.
“It is solely his get-go amount working twenty-four hr menses inwards component together with the President has already created the correct atmosphere for his fourth dimension inwards office.” Spicer’s vocalism trembled equally he reported, “Mr. Trump’s get-go presidential bowel crusade measured twice the book of that recorded past times his predecessor, Barack Obama. Period! Nothing to discuss.”

Spicer: “Here, on the Oval Office’s right-hand toilet, history was made.”

Several White House employees, including Spicer himself, were witnesses to Mr. Trump’s some superhuman achievement. Unfortunately however, at that topographic point is no photographic prove of President Trump’s ‘first official doody’.
“With greatest honour to the 44 Presidents earlier him, nosotros are convinced that this is the most magnificent pile of faeces always deposited inwards the White House.”
Concluding the press conference, Mr. Spicer explicitly warned the journalists inwards attendance non to diminish or disparage Mr Trump’s achievements inwards the surface area of human waste materials excretion. “I know you lot folk inwards the media cause got sworn to brand the President await ridiculous at every opportunity”, he explained, “so it’s lucky I’m hither to accept assist of that.”
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